Some of you may have experienced resentment towards other people. It may come from your past or something that you faces every day. It can be nagging guilt for letting your friends down; it may be parents or other family members who always look down on you, it can also be a self-blaming after leaving a responsibility you can’t bear.
It is good that you know that something wrong has been done to you. It means you can distinguish right from wrong. Thus, you won’t do that to other people. However, holding your resentment for too long is unhealthy. That resentment can turn into anger and can even eat you up.
The longer you hold your resentment, the more difficult you let it go. You’ll forget how to be happy. Your thought will be full of anger and hatred. Then, you may become someone you don’t recognize.
If you think you had those traits, then you need these 10 Strategies of How to Let Go of Resentment.
- Knowing the source of resentment
Nobody can throw away their resentment before knowing the source of it. If there are so many sources, acknowledge them one by one. It can be from your past or something that still happens in your daily life.
Knowing the source of resentment is just as painful as the first time you experience it. So, the next step that you’re going to do is to relax. Listen to a calm instrument, go for a walk, or do yoga. Find any relaxing and healthy activities, while picturing all those resentments clearly in your mind.
- Find solutions
Think about a solution to chill your resentment after relaxing. If you have a problem with someone, avoid that person until you’ve made up your mind. When you see that person again, talk about the problem calmly. Or you can pretend like it never happened. If it happens in the past, find a plausible solution, then imagine that you have solved it. If it is about your partner’s bad habit, talk about it to find a solution that suits everyone.
- Let go that grudges
Grudges are not good for your body and mental health. In addition to taking up your energy, it can create a negative thought. Besides, it can divide your focus. Instead of holding that grudge, try to be empathetic.
Think this way, the person who hurts you may experience some bad things as well. She may hold so much resentment that made her that way. Being empathetic makes you learn that holding grudges can harm others. Letting go that grudge can improve your emotional control that will decrease your resentment.
- Forgive and forget
I know it is hard to forgive and forget, but there’s no better way. Nobody’s perfect, neither someone that hurt you. You should also forgive yourself after what you’ve done. You know that you did not do it on purpose.
- Take control
Resentment is in you, not in anybody else. Thus, it is you who can control it, not someone else. When something makes you angry, acknowledge it. Then quickly remind yourself that the anger is something controllable. Besides, being angry upon something wrong does not fix anything. So, control your emotion when it shows up and let it ease.
- Be positive
To help you take control of your anger, one good thing to do is by being positive. One way of being positive when you’re angry is by telling yourself that you are the one who knows you best, and no one can tell you the other way. Next, create an atmosphere that benefits you, and people around you. Commit to yourself that you won’t hurt anyone.
- Talk about it
Having a best friend is one of the best things that you can have in your life. Don’t waste it. Your best friend could be the best doctor where you can share those resentments and get some advice that suits you best.
If your resentment is related to your best friend, then you can write about it. Yes, a diary is your other best friend. What’s best is diary will only listen to your every word without judging. But it won’t give you any advice. Instead, you might get some insights and probably some advice from your own thought after throwing it all.
- Create a new environment
Daily resentment is real. It can be in your office; it can be from your neighborhood. If the problem is your coworker, avoid that person or change the way you confront that person. It also applies to your neighbor.
- Be present
Finally, you have to learn how to be present. Something that had been passed cannot be repeated. Chances are it won’t happen anymore. Thus, it is best if you forget what has already been in the past and live your present life.
Those are 10 strategies of how to let go of resentment. You cannot just hold it in your mind. It will be too hard and not fair for your mental health. Besides, something or somebody who makes you feel that way won’t bear the same burden you carry. So, move it on.